Not waving but frowning

Rishi Sunak's appearance on LBC's phone-in was the sound of a human piñata being battered.

Previously: A general election on easy mode
With a Labour triumph now assumed, hacks are looking to how they'll get on the right side of the new government.

---

While Keir Starmer's struggle session with LBC callers yesterday produced a juicy news line for the papers (see, he would have served in a Jeremy Corbyn cabinet), he made it through largely unscathed. He achieved that by sticking to the same lines he’s been delivering for months regardless of the topic. It’s the rhetorical equivalent of a fighter jet dispersing chaff to confuse radar systems; by the time Starmer reaches the end of an answer, you’re not sure what the question was in the first place.

Rishi Sunak’s time in the call-in colosseum overseen by Nick ‘Austin Allegro’ Ferrari was distinctly more painful. His most commonly used phrase was “I’m sorry you feel that way”, delivered with all the passion and sincerity of a bored customer service rep. He was sorry that young people felt he’d failed to make life better for them, he was sorry a gay man believed he didn’t support LGBT+ people, he was sorry a grieving mother — Figen Murray, whose son Martyn Hett died in the Manchester Arena Bombing — felt he’d failed her by not passing the law that would bear her son’s name.

The final question of the session came from a woman who asked that he apologise for a glib comment about eating sweets rather than saying he was sorry she felt that way. He obliged by saying he had no intention of apologising for eating Twixes.

Sunak’s performance of sorrow was made more unconvincing when his exaggerated ‘understanding’ voice was replaced by petulance and irritation. Asked about his wealth, he grumbled that not a day went by without someone coming up to him and thanking him for “what I did during the pandemic”. The implication was that he’d done the country a favour as chancellor — as if it were his money — and that people were being rather ungrateful now by rejecting his campaign.

As moderator and master of ceremonies, Ferrari swerved all over the shop, shifting from chummy football banter to garbled (and incorrect) accusations about a £500 jacket that was worn by Starmer rather than Sunak. Early in the phone-in, he tried to suggest to the Prime Minister that he might want to answer the questions being put to him by listeners rather than repeating that they weren’t the issues that he was being asked about on his desultory laps around the country. Sunak didn’t take the advice.

Towards the end of the hour, Sunak found another thing he wasn’t going to apologise for: “I'm very fortunate in my life. I have been, I'm not going to apologise for that.” It’s a line he’s used many times before and one that will come as no surprise to anyone who has been paying attention. Many people aren’t and the LBC showdown won’t change that. It was the sound of a desperate man becoming even more desperate with every passing moment.

If Sunak and the Conservatives weren’t so thoroughly underwater, his performance on LBC would produce more headlines. It was bad but so unsurprisingly bad that it didn’t reach the levels of awkwardness and embarrassment set by other Tory gaffes during this election campaign. At this point, Sunak has to be epically awful for it to be worthy of special comment. The Prime Minister is such a lame duck that LBC could equally have broadcast 60 minutes of quacking.

A response from an LBC listener summed it up well: “Rishi Sunak seems to see the electorate as a stubborn obstacle getting in the way of what he wants.” Depressed by the choice between an automaton and a charlatan? Well, you can be sure that Sunak is sorry that you feel that way.

---

Please share this edition if you enjoyed it. It helps.

You can also follow me on Twitter, Threads, BlueSky and/or TikTok.

If you haven’t yet, please consider upgrading to a paid subscription.

It helps and allows me to spend more money on research and reporting. Buy a t-shirt if you’d like to make a one-off contribution and get a t-shirt.